READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
