Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize