He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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