Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
