I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
love makes seman taste better
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
