plz talk dirty to me
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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