what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
