I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
