he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
