I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
