so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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