Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
