I need help removing her.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
