the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
