..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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