we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
