Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no, he came in my armpit
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
