I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
