Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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