Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Randomize
