Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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