Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
