she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
