I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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