My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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