this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
