So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize