I cannot find my penis.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
