The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
