Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
