oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
