This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize