It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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