just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
