She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
