Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
