This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't think brook has ever known best
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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