When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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