I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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