Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize