He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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