Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
