let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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