I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
