This dress was meant to end up on your floor
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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