I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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