I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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