I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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