After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
