I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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