WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
