You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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