brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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