Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize