Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
