she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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