There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
