Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
