Its about making memories worth repressing
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
