Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
