Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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