so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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