Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize