i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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