her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
