I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
