At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
