whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
