Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
