Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize