she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
