now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
