I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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