I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I fill condoms, not promises.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
