it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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