A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
