East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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